Thursday, September 9, 2010

Camel... Straw... Back...

It's been a rough couple of weeks... By rough, I mean hell.  Besides the normal wedding stress and school stress (Having to do a poster 2 days before the wedding...  Posters stress me, as I usually go deer in headlights for them if I don't cram/practice beforehand.  And with the wedding I don't have the privilege of practice this year.), I've been dealing with a shit-ton (newly made up word) more.

A few weeks back, my mom had to put our family dog down.  She didn't call me up to be there and I'm totally fine with that as it would be a mental image of sadness looming on me if she did.  And even though I knew he was old and it was necessary as he had infections popping up despite being on meds that treated the others... It still saddened me that he had to be put down.  That we had to give up on him.

Then the week after, a good friend of ours (whom I thought of as an adoptive artistic grandma) passed away.  It was sudden and I hadn't seen her because of the wedding planning.  I'm kicking myself for not visiting her and finding that every time I turn around there is something that reminds me of her making me wish I saw her before the shit hit the fan.

Top that off with the dire need of a break and looming piles of projects, I was a stressy mess this past weekend.  Stressed yet still semi in control.

Then this week happened.

We went to Erie on monday and nature once again proved she's not a friend of my sinuses.  The mild sinus infection I had went into overdrive and I admitted I needed to go to my allergist for meds.  Prior to my appointment, Josh gets a call telling him he has to be at Walter Reed in 2 days for his TDRL (Temporary Disability Retirement List) for his reeval.  He's not allowed to miss this appointment and is only given two days notice.  This determines if he's staying medically retired or if they decide he's fit to serve, they can recall him for the last few months of his contract he didn't serve when being medically discharged.  Of course, we were booth pissed at the Army as we have tons to do.  Him because they gave him 2 days notice...  Me as I was loosing my slave labor for 2-3 days while he goes down.  (The appointment is only 1 day but he can't drive down and back all at the same time.  Plus I'm betting he's gonna have a nasty headache this afternoon and not be back till friday morn.)  Both of us pissed that the Army will probably once again try to brush off the tbi headaches as just PTSD headaches.  And that's so not what they are.  What I need to do is to start going to appointments with him and telling them what we are really going through with his memory loss and headaches because a soft spoken, educated, good speaking individual gets looked at by face value as being perfectly fine and not ill.  It's sad that you have to go in looking the part to be acknowledged as suffering.  They train them to be soldiers who are emotionless and good at hiding pain then do know how to see when they are suffering.  It's total bs.  If he keeps getting the run around... we are so going to an investigative news source to get the story out there.  Maybe it will help others being treated this way.  End of army disgruntleness.

So while we were being peeved about the Army, I was to have a dress fitting to pin the bustle (yes under 10 days and it hasn't been pinned yet.) and it was cancelled.  My local seamstress who does this on the side was made to work late.  Talk about being kicked while down.  We settled on another date to do it but it's another day that I had a half a dozen other things to do.

And the straw that made me cry at least 4 times today was going to fill my antibiotic script and finding out I DON'T have insurance.  WTF!  Turns out like last year, the GSR re-enrollment for insurance is relatively paperless.  Aka.  No paper packets in the mailbox at school.  I forgot and defaulted to waiting for it to come.  In the end, I failed to fill it out so my insurance was cancelled August 31st.  Luckily I got it in now or else I would have no insurance for the next year.  But despite missing that bullet, I found out that I had to pay out of pocket for my meds.  Hello Credit Card that has been paying everything at the moment.  Sadly the antibios for 2 weeks costs $168.  Another WTF!  Luckily again... possibly due to puffy red swollen face and near tear eyed some crazy pharmacy mojo was worked and it took the costs down again.  Which I was thankful for despite the fact that they and I will both be putting in claims for all of this once my insurance is back.  Sadly, this was the straw that I couldn't hold on my back and while trying to get it all cleared up in a two hour marathon of phone calls and faxes, I end up crying in front of or on the phone with 3-4 people.  I'm choosing to blame it on hormones (everyone cries the week before mother nature), wedding stress and life stress when life decided to kick you while you're already on the mat crawling away.

I could use a cupcake right about now...

ps. promise the next post will be cheerful.  So wanted to post about my new zoom lens but needed to vent this first before I cry on the seamstress tonight.

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