Saturday, July 3, 2010

The Beached Whale in White

Yesterday while walking to get milk, I made the comment to future hubs that I no longer looked like a beached whale when wearing white.  He laughed and told me he loves and has loved how I look...  never thinking I was chunky even once.  And because he was dead serious, it made his comment all the better.  But to be honest over the last year I have gained then lost ~20-25lbs.

I'm 5'3" and a good healthy weight for me is 125-135 with 130 being ideal.  After undergrad when I gained weight to be around 125, my mother told me I looked healthy and not anorexic.  Mind you, I never had an eating disorder, EVER.  Unless you count having snack cakes and sweets count as 75% of your diet as one.  The reason I weighed so little then was stress...  I didn't gain the freshman 15 but lost 10 lbs because stress makes me not hungry.  Yes oddly enough, I get so focused in doing that I avoid eating or nothing really seems appetizing.

But when I'm content... the opposite happens.  The old saying of being "fat and happy" is true.  When future hubs was discharged from the Army last July, he began to make our dinners.  As he's an excellent cook, I didn't complain.  But I soon realized he did not understand portion control from his 8 years of pre-portioned Army food.  For instance when making shrimp scampi, he would cook the entire 5lb bag of shrimp then make just as much pasta.  Instead of serving small portions and allowing us to go back for leftovers, he would split the meal between us in large salad bowls.  I would attempt to eat most of it but couldn't and ended up giving him my leftovers.  After 5 months of this, I gained 20lbs.  He as well gained weight but it looked good on him as he's normally a tall string bean.  It took me until Christmas time to realize that most of my clothes were too tight and looked dreadful.

Here's where the white whale comes in.  Over that next month, I noticed that light colors made me look chunky and big.  While the darks made me look fine.  Remember the saying of... "To make a room look bigger, paint it a light color."  The same goes for your body.  If you have any unflattering bits...  cover them in dark fabrics.  Now I was by no means obese... just a bit overweight.  And overweight for me means that my gobble, the skin between your chin and neck, looked so double chinned.  I also had the spare tire stomach pooch thing going on along with the increase in the size of my rear.  See my fat deposits first in my butt, then my tummy then my boobs.  Even though no one saw me as overweight (I got a startled reaction from a coworker when I told her I weighed 154... she asked me where I was hiding it.), I saw myself as chubby and didn't like how my clothes fit.  I began to not just grab shirts from the drawer but considered which color I was grabbing.  It got to the point where I would only wear darks and piled light undesirable shirts up on one side of the drawer.  When I noticed this activity I knew I had to make a change because I didn't have the money to buy an entire new wardrobe.

For me... a change in diet and proportions along with increasing my activity was all I needed.  I attempted the gym but was awful with keeping it up on a weekly basis.  So just by eating less junk food, walking to the shuttle stop rather than letting the Mr drive me and doing more walking to local stores than driving...  I've lost most of that weight.  Now I'm convinced that if I start working in a toning exercise routine, I can loose that remaining 5 lbs.  And I'll be back to my happy weight along with having some body tone.

Anybody else experience the white whale affect when gaining weight?  Were you also over-joyed when noticing your reflection in a storefront and realizing you can look good wearing white again?

ps.  I would have posted example photos of the changes but digging through my christmas pictures, I really do hide the weight well.  I may update this and post them later but I don't want to irritate anyone who has had noticeable weight issues.  Although I'm sure all of us who have fluctuated at times, hated how we looked even if no one else noticed.  It's today's society where you have to be twig thin, that makes it's disappointing and depressing to notice the accumulation of chub even if it's minimal amounts.  

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