Friday, May 21, 2010

A Twitchy Ball of StReSs

Yep... I'm a twitchy ball of stress.  It's one of those points where I have so much to do, not enough time, no desire to act, and I'm down right exhausted.

Always a ball of stress/anxiety... Lucy!  I <3 LUCY!

My first issue and #1 enemy right now that will remain that way for the next 4 months is the wedding.  Yes, the wedding!  And yes we hit the 4 month mark 3 days ago on May 18th!  FSD!  There is so much to do and plan.  So much to be decisive on.  So many people I want to make happy which shadows over the whole reason of the wedding.  I actually made the dental hygienist at my 6 mo exam today laugh when I said I just wanted the wedding over.  I didn't care how I got there, what happened in the in between... I just want it over.  And that's the truth.  While I can't wait to marry future hubby, I am also not an event planner and this whole tiny budget blows donkey balls!  But no one has a large wad of cash to give us and I ain't taking out 30k in loans.  So I need to pony up and get to work on the Wedding To Do List and DIYs ASAP!

My next issue is future hubby's first bio test is coming up.  While he was planning to cram the day before the test, I managed to convince him to start studying ahead.  Let's face it... someone with short term memory issues should not depend on cramming to pass a test.  I've also been asking him if he wants any help studying from me to test his bio knowledge.  He took me up on it last night and then has spent the day taking Ebook tests feeling like those are helping him.  I hope he's right.  As I told him earlier this week that if he needs my help, I need a night to read through the chapters on his test to review basic bio as I haven't had it in...  something like... hmm.  11 years!  (Damn I'm getting old!)  Sigh.  At any rate, I have my fingers crossed that he will ace this.

My third issue is finances...  I'm slacking on bill pay this month because of all the schedule changes due to me adjusting my schedule to hubs classes.  I totally keep forgetting to pay until right before bed or while I'm on the bus.  Both times, I can't or refuse to get to the internet...  I'm also slacking because I don't want to see how in the RED we are.  I dread dipping further into the wedding fund and having to get a line of credit to pay for the wedding.  =(  To make matters worse... there's a dress that I really really want from modcloth for the engagement shots that I don't see me being able to afford.  Bye Bye pretty...

My last and final issue is that I can't say no.  When I know I should tell friends that I can't do something like visiting our elderly neighbor from the old apartment multiple times a week.  I still end up attempting to schedule time with her because at those moments I really want to see her.  Then later when I realize how much I have on my plate to still do, I'm kicking myself for doing so.  Other instances involve helping friends prep for their master's comps.  I'm thinking.. oh it's only an hour or so.  But forget that I have to read the paper they are presenting which will take an evening.  And I often put it off till the last moment as I forget to print the paper...  Then end up kicking myself again because I don't want to hurt their feelings by saying no.  Plus I also feel inclined to help them as we all were in their shoes 3 years ago and were counting on our elder students to guide us on how to prepare for a royal educational ass kicking (which for some brought tears).  And while I bitch and complain about time...  I realize I waste so much of it doing things (such as blogging) rather than dealing with the To Do list.  =(  Yet another sigh.

So enough yellow bellied whining and time to just begin to get things done.  First item on the agenda...  read that journal article and pay the electric bill!

Anyone else overcome by the piled higher and deeper anxiety?

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