Sunday, May 2, 2010

You can't please everybody

The whole idea behind us paying for the wedding was to keep other people's opinions out of the planning.  While we want input from our family, at least one of them is going to not favor one of our ideas.  And of course, everyone has an opinion about everything.   Opinions that are helpful during decision making become down right annoying when it comes to plans that are already made.

One such instance was when we were first trying to have the reception in an art gallery after a late wedding.  To cut costs we were going to just serve cocktails, hor d'oeuvres and the cookie table as it was a late wedding.  My one grandmother made a remark that you have to feed people and can't just have cocktails.  Despite trying to make the point that it would be a late wedding, that by 7pm people should have ate dinner already plus we couldn't afford to feed full on meals, she still didn't budge.  In response we tried to do meals but found that the gallery preferred catering company could only do full meals for $20 per person, which was too rich for our blood.

Since then plans have changed and the reception is in a park setting.  A setting full of trees, leaves, flowers and DiRt!  We, being the non-traditionalists that we are, decided to do something along the lines of a BBQ and pig roast.  This was due to our love of BBQ, the park setting and my knowledge of an amazing mobile BBQ in the burgh.  I mentioned to my dad that we were going to a tasting for this caterer and he questioned having messy BBQ at a wedding reception.  I explained that we didn't want regular "wedding" food and with the park setting for wedding/reception the dress code would be informal (kahkis and polo rather than dress suit).  He went along with it although I got the sense he thought others would be bothered as well.  And yes such a meal can be messy but from what I remember about this company's food in the past, it wasn't messy like BBQ ribs.  The food isn't dripping with sauce to the point where you ruin your clothes and should be fine for the setting.  None the less, I found myself trying to think up ways to make those who would complain about the BBQ's messiness happy.  We're not going to change the catering but how can I warn people of it and also protect if they are worried about spills?  Besides having to redo the text for part of the invite to include informal dress code and state more firmly that it's BBQ picnic buffet style... what to do?  Find wholesale amounts of those crazy lobster bibs so that people can wear a bib to protect their clothing?

I'm at a loss as I just want to plan this wedding without opinions changing things or costing us more.  Despite knowing that it's our wedding and we can have it how we want, I still want to make everyone happy.  But I also know that if we do that, it's going to make us a big ball of stress.  I want to let family members know of our ideas and our plans in hopes of approval but I also want to hide it all because I don't need the stress of disapproval.  I completely understand how some brides go bridezilla when being bombarded with opinions.  It's one of those points where you just have to say I appreciate your opinion but if you aren't paying for *said aspect of the wedding* then we will do as we please.  In all honesty, you can't please everybody!

How do you deal with opinions on everything while planning an event?  Do you keep them in mind and try to work them in?  Do you totally redo your plans to make everyone happy?  Do you completely ignore them?  Or do you tell them to stick the opinions somewhere unpleasant?

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